From Me to We, Moving In Together | The Couple from 2D
Guest Post By: Jayme Lamm
Being an only child is something that sticks with you forever. For better or for worse, it’s a label that never leaves and typically, there are a few personality traits that are ingrained from the beginning. Needless to say, living with anyone has always been a challenge, but moving in with my boyfriend has been an even bigger challenge. No challenge we can’t handle, but one that will surely take some effort.
I am starting to learn (on the fly, I might add) how to go from ME to WE.
Here are some issues I’ve run into and how we’ve started to combat them, together:
Men aren’t the cleanest. At least not usually. And my apologies for gender stereotyping, but in my experience, they aren’t the cleanest. I’ve learned to specifically ask for help with chores, like tidying up or moving around the guest bedroom instead of setting us both up for failure hoping I’ll come home and it’ll magically be done exactly how I wanted it. Instead of hoping he’ll empty the dishwasher and clean up the little corner of the bedroom, I simply ask. And usually, he does it without any problems, because I know he genuinely wants to help. Amazing how easy it is.
Not only do we live together, we work together. Well sort of. We both work from home and that can be incredibly tricky. Since neither of us has to be up at a certain time and we aren’t necessarily the most motivated people on the planet, we’ve had to set some ground rules, like making sure we are both out of bed by 8:30. That may not seem early, but when you don’t have to get up for anything specific, it’s hard. Other things like “no computers” or doing work stuff in our common areas has helped a lot and helped make it fair for both of us. We both want to succeed and be good at our jobs, so we have to proactively help each other out with these rules.
No-Phone Zone. Even though we both work from home, we don’t have a ton of quality time together, so we’ve implemented a no-phone rule from 7p-9p while watching TV together and eating dinner. Even if we get so wrapped up in Big Brother or The Voice that we don’t actually talk to each other, at least we are both present, which is more than most can probably say.
Separate TV time. One of the great things about moving into a two-bedroom apartment, even though we probably could have been just as comfortable in a one-bedroom is that we can have alone time when we need it or want it. If he wants to watch hunting and car and fishing shows in the living room relaxing on our Lexington sectional, I can easily go curl up in our bedroom and watch Real Housewives of (insert city).
Let the small things go. As I said earlier, I hate messes, but I’ve learned that I need to let the little stuff go. For instance - I absolutely love our round coffee table. It’s my favorite piece in our living room (probably because it holds my wine glass each night!) and I don’t want any scratches or dents or messy food on it, but I need to remember that it’s part of our living room, which means it won’t always be perfectly clean. As ridiculously cute as our furniture is, it’s meant to be lived on. Scratches are going to happen in pretty much area of your life – tangible and not.
Respect and communication. While these things may seem incredibly easy for most, sometimes it takes a little bit of work to remember that you’re in a partnership. It isn’t just my apartment, it’s our apartment. I need to consult with my boyfriend on décor choices, big spending purchases, who’s cooking (and what) for dinner, and more.
The Couple from 2D is written by Jayme Lamm, a sports + travel + fitness writer and blogger at The Blonde Side and is based in Houston, Texas. Her work has appeared in ESPN, CBS, Women’s Health, Elite Daily and various other publications. Follow Jayme’s adventures on Twitter and Instagram: @jaymelamm.